Helping to change the world...one person at a time...

You know, I often get so overwhelmed with the chaos and disorder in this world. Working at a television station, I often read and see the news as it happens, and frankly, there are many times I just want to shut my door and cry. The thing of it is…I don’t understand why things happen the way they do. I just don’t…I can’t seem to understand why people, especially children, must suffer.

When I decided to start writing, I thought that perhaps, there would be some way for me to make a difference. However, at times, I feel like I’m back at square one, squandering, attempting to find my place in this mixed and messed up world.

I’ve heard it many times… ‘Write what you know’. This is what I know…life is what you make it…so…as Gandhi once said, why not ‘Be the change you wish to see in the world'? Lofty thought, yet how many believe that? Hope, many times, is lost...people think that WE can't change the world. However, I think that anyone can help to change the world, if they just put their mind, their talents, their God-given gifts to the cause...

So...despite seeing the daily turmoil, perhaps what we begin to see is the beauty around us; the GOOD people right in front of us...just wanting to do the same thing...change the world, one person at a time...

Nonsensical Thoughts…

Write what you know…to understand what you don’t...Hmmm...interesting thought, right? Perhaps…

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You have to learn many things throughout life…how to deal with the daily details…how to understand the uncertainty of it all...

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Why does love make people crazy…why do people choose to let love make them crazy? I don’t know really…what is it that is so draining, so dreamy, so intoxicating about love…

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Well...I don’t really understand life and the wonder of it all…I don’t really…

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So perhaps...we shouldn't make it so complicated…because the truth is...some people fall in love…while some just have to crash into it…

It's a dreamers world out there...

...You know, I think we all have this perception of the world...how it can be this place of wonder, this place of beauty and tranquility, a place where dreams come true...however, I don't know if I buy that, if I really believe that...see we are all here for a reason, right? A reason that perhaps, we are unaware of yet...I don't know...maybe you do...however, I do know that I have this aching for people, for people who are wandering aimlessly through this world, perhaps a dreamer, waiting to fulfill that special something they've always wanted to do, filled with wishers, who wish and hope that they one day can obtain something more than what they currently have...but the vast majority of people in this world are really uncertain, wanting so much more, desiring real people and real relationships...perhaps they want what is not there's to take...but perhaps, they desire the very thing that makes them fulfill their destiny in this world of dreamers...

...what's my dream? That's a good question...one that I can't answer at this moment...but I do know it's a dream that is not my own...it's this aching point of no return, yet this beautiful creation...

Ahhh, anyway...my aimless thoughts are all I have...

Everything is Beautiful...

I am a big believer in the power that song lyrics can have...music in general is an escape and I truly am amazed by what musicians out there can create. It's not only the music that comes from their instruments, but their words...many times they inspire...often times, they encourage...

The following are lyrics to a song called 'Everything is Beautiful' by a band called 'Starfield'. The lyrics speak for themselves...


Worn out, wasted
Like a bird with broken wings
Sometimes grace reminds me
I don't get to be the king

But love it washes over
Love it pulls me closer
Love it changes everything

Everything is beautiful
Even when the tears are falling
I don't need a miracle to believe
Even in the crashing down
I can hear redemption calling
And everything is beautiful to me

Sweetly, You release me
From the weight of what I've done
The trigger trips the hammer
But the bullets never come

And love like a landslide
Like the wind
Spins around me pulls me in
At it's unveiling, I begin

Stumped...

You know…I’m amazed at what I have…what I’m privileged to have…yet, I so often take advantage of those amazing things…

I think I can get so wrapped up in the things that don’t make sense, the things that maybe don’t go the way I’d like, and well, I begin to think that I am not the lucky person that I know I am…

Hmmm…

I love life…I love and appreciate all the beautiful things and people that I am privileged to have...to know...thank God for my husband...my sisters...my mom and dad...my friendships...

Another thought...

Happiness is what you make it right? Even a starving, homeless child can be happy; despite his or her dire circumstances…I suppose it’s the choice we all make…Even though there is no hope around them, they CHOOSE hope because that really makes life worth living...

I’m amazed by people’s emotions, I am stumped by my own at times…

Life is indeed a mystery, but an amazing one at that…

Consuming...yet again...

So yesterday was just a bad day all around...usually Fridays are good; I think though I was just tired of working, tired of reading the news, and tired of my consuming thoughts...they puzzle me from time-to-time. I don't understand sometimes why I think the way that I do. Perhaps it's controllable? I don't really know...I once read a book by Joyce Meyer called the Battlefield of the Mind. It was a good book, but I can't seem to ever get it right..I've followed that book with selections written by Max Lucado and other inspirational authors...I read them with good intentions...attempting to pull from them what the author intended for readers to...yet many times, the words they write are a jumbled mess...not that I don't understand them...just that they consume my thoughts even more. Am I doing the right thing? Do I understand what it is the author, or God for that matter, is trying to tell me? Most of the time I don't think I get it right, but I do try...I still want to try...

The thing of it is...I want to matter, not to people, but matter to the One who has made me the way that I am...I lack in so many things, but God fills in those gaps...He gives us hope when we don't have it...He gives us faith when we lack it...He gives us patience when we have nothing left...He fills us up when we are empty...and He loves us even when we don't love Him back...

Amazing...consuming...

Consuming...

I am very consumed today with sadness…stress maybe…I don’t know…I read about all of the billion tragedies in the world, and it just drags me down…way down…

I don’t get it really…I don’t understand…I want to help, but there is so much to do…and so little time…

Oh God…please take my thoughts from me…

Invisible Children

Check out the website to a film called Invisible Children; it's a documentary telling the story of some remarkable children in Uganda...

"What started out as a film-making adventure in Africa, transformed into much more, when the three young American’s (Jason Russell, Bobby Bailey, and Laren Poole) original travels took a divine turn, and they found themselves stranded in Northern Uganda. They discovered children being kidnapped nightly from their homes and subsequently forced to fight as child soldiers. This film is dedicated to exposing this tragic and amazingly untold story.

Even at this moment, in Uganda, Children as young as 8 are methodically kidnapped from their homes by a rebel group called the “Lord’s Resistance Army” (LRA). The abducted children are then desensitized to the horror of brutal violence and killing, as they themselves are turned into vicious fighters. Some escape and hide in constant fear for their lives.

Most remain captive, and grow to maturity with no education other than life “in the bush” and fighting in a guerilla war. Of the many ramifications that a 20 -year-long war can cause, the film “Invisible Children: Rough Cut” highlights what the community refers to as “NIGHT COMMUTERS.” We watch thousands of children “commute” out of fear, from their villages to nearby towns each night in order to avoid the LRA (Lord’s Resistance Army) abductions. They sleep in public places, vulnerable, and without supervision.

This film focuses in on four young boys: Jacob, Thomas, Tony, and Boni. Through their eyes, we relive the terror of abduction, courage of survival, the heartbreak of losing a brother, and the innate joy- found only in a child. The three filmmakers (Jason, Bobby, and Laren) were amazed to find many things in common between these kids and kids in America, themselves included.

As the three left Northern Uganda, they were appalled by what they had seen, and yet, in awe of the resilience and hope they found in these children, and this community. The filmmakers thought: How could such an atrocity exist for such a long time, without the world knowing?

Believing that the “invisible children’s” story could inspire others to do something, as it did them, they created a documentary, which we now know as the “Invisible Children: Rough Cut”. They originally screened the film in June 2004 for friends and family and soon expanded to high schools, colleges, and organizations. After audiences viewed the movie, one question repeatedly surfaced, “what can we do?” And so, a nonprofit was birthed out of a film.

Startling Facts: The United Nations estimates 300,000 children under the age of 18 are currently fighting in conflicts around the world and hundreds of thousands more are members of armed forces - either being trained for combat or used as laborers.

Physical, sexual and emotional abuse is commonplace. Most of these children were forcibly conscripted or abducted by fighting forces to become instruments of war, to kill or be killed. Without exception, the experience has devastating effects on their physical, psychological, and intellectual development."

Consuming Passion...

Sometimes I think there are SO many things that bog us down that it's extremely hard to understand where our focus should be...I mean think about it? There are countless causes...never-ending efforts to end wars, famines, and poverty...but how do you choose just ONE? How can we simply choose just ONE?

My mind becomes so consumed with 'what can I do'? I suppose it's finding a cause you're passionate about...right?

I recently watched a film called "Freedom Writers"; I am moved by films such as these; real-life stories of people who choose to make a difference with what they are passionate about...I recommend it...it takes place after the L.A. Riots, where cultural differences clashed and fear and frustration caused hatred and racism.

The film tells the stories of teens in a racially divided place and time, just trying to make it through high school; and, a teacher who wants nothing more to see them all get there...she makes sacrifices so that these teens have a future, so that they have a voice...it's rather remarkable what she does and ultimately, what the kids learn, and CHOOSE to become...

Check out the Freedom Writers Foundation to read more about this amazing story...

Be Who We Are?

"We dream of hope, we dream of change…so much struggle for meaning, for purpose, and only in the end do we find it in each other…in the fantastic, in the mundane, the simple human need to find a kindred, and to know in the end that we are not alone…and that all we need is each other…"

Why do we look down on others? Why do we look at people and judge them? Why do we feel the need to fit in to what the world wants us to? Why do we hurt people that are different – those that don’t fit the mold? I mean really, what is the mold? Why can’t we just be who we are…who God intended us to be? So many questions, so few answers…

We wonder how long life can go so endlessly…never understanding the essence of why we are the way we are…is it merely human nature? I don’t understand any of it…

Pay if Forward...

What would you do if you didn’t have much time left to live?

What would you try to do for someone else if you knew they didn’t have much time to live?

I frequently read a blog provided by CNN, called Young People Who Rock. Today, I read quite a remarkable story about a young man named Darius and his close friend Logan. See, Darius has a deteriorative disorder called Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. It basically attacks a person’s muscles, ultimately attacking the most important, including the heart and lungs.

So, when Darius told his friends, including his friend Logan, he wanted to see parts of the country he had never seen before, Logan and Weems’ other college-aged friends decided to take him…west!

How remarkable is that? With that act of love from a FRIEND, Weems’ has traveled throughout the western half of the nation, seeing things he never thought he would. The group decided to document the adventure and today, it’s an award-winning documentary called Darius Goes West.

I truly was amazed by this story, by this act of kindness and friendship towards another.

I wonder…what if we ALL decided to make a choice like that for someone else? Can you imagine the kind of impact you could have…even if it’s for ONE person? Changing one person’s life is only the beginning…you never know what that person might do for someone else, in light of what you’ve done for them...

...I guess you could say it's like the 'Pay it Forward' idea...where one act of kindness spawns another...and another...and another...what a thought...

No sleep...BABIES too!

Hmmm...can't sleep again...

Anyway...thinking a lot about babies lately...yeah, me...babies! It's really weird to think about the idea of Jason and I being parents...It could be really a great thing, right?

Well...the idea of a baby is amazing in itself, I guess I just never imagined myself, being a parent. I suppose there is something innate in all of us, that desires to take care of something, hence, the motherly instinct and fatherly instinct...

The thing is...sometimes I think we are formulated to think that that is the course in which we should ALL travel...yet...what about those men and women who can't have children? It's not their fault...I really want to adopt, but am I 'missing out' if I can have my own children?

I suppose the way I look at it is that if God wants to bless us with a child, then that would be a wonderful gift...but if not, then I want nothing more than to give a child that doesn't have a mother or father, a home to call their own...that too, would be an amazing gift...

I don't know...sometimes I think I'm a little weird the way I think...UGH!