Amazing Moments

It's amazing how time flies ... how life goes in this spiraling, out of control motion at moments. However, I've always thought that it's the MOMENTS that make life so AMAZING.

It's been a long time since I've written. I tell myself I don't have time ... but in reality, I think there are times I just lose inspiration. Not that there aren't inspiring people and things around me ... I think it just might have to do with my motivation. I'm a work in progress on that one ...

However, I've been reminded in recent days of the AMAZING people and AMAZING moments that make up my life. I never fully realize what's right in front of me, until I sit down, take a moment and just marvel in the MANY blessings I feel really unworthy of at times. While I feel that way at times, the thing is ... I don't want to EVER take any of those blessings for granted. I am learning to cherish EVERY single moment I have on this earth ... and if today was my last day, at least I could say that I lived this day, to the very fullest.

I write about this a lot ... but hey, the saying goes ... 'write what you know'. This is what I know. Life isn’t about what you get, but what you give; it's not what you know, but what you learn; it’s not who you love, but how you love; it’s not what you say, but what you do. Live everyday fully, compassionately, humbly, whole-heartedly.

A Little Goes a Long Way ...

Hello blogging world! I am going to start posting some stories that my mom has written ... she is actually embarking on a new journey in her life ... these are just stories from her heart ... she wanted a way to relay them to the masses ... and I figured what better way to do that than through the blogging world! Hope some of you still read! God bless!

So, have you ever thought that because you can't send a bunch of money to a organization that you would like to help that there is no point in sending anything? Come on, really, you know that you have!!! Have you ever thought that if you can't talk to someone about whatever, that there is no reason to even give that person the time of day? Really!! I know I have.

Well, let me tell you something that God really opened my eyes to a few years back. I became a real animal advocate several years ago, but felt that if I couldn't send these organization a large amount of money that, well, it just wouldn't make any difference,. WRONG WRONG WRONG!!!!!! These places that I send contributions to are thrilled no matter what I send them.

And they tell me so too. This is my way to help those who cannot help themselves. When these organizations send be petitions, I sign them and send them back. I call my Senator, my Congressman and anyone else they advise me to call and let them know my opinion. Don't think it doesn't help? You can't be any more wrong. All contributions, all letters, all phone calls make a difference.

Second in point. I have a job that you meet the most off the wall people or the best of the best. The one thing I have learned about these folks, is a smile, a hello, a thank you or any gesture of kindness goes a long long way. I have seen people that would not even look at me when I open the door to my bus completely change because I give them a smile and a hello. Believe me, a gesture of appreciate to the most cold hearted person will change them, if only for a moment.

People are hungry for others to acknowledge them. Try it. It really won't hurt. It really will make you feel better too. Promise. Hey, and while your at it, give a $5'er to that organization you've been hearing about, or reading about. Honestly, it really does help.

Keep smiling and spread the news. God Bless. Roxie

Seeking ...

It's been a long time ... I know. While I don't have a ton of time to write much, I wanted to at least share something I wrote a few months ago. Just a little poem ... that I hope you like.

Seeking

Jumping into a sea of confidence…
That is what I seek…
Flying above the vast clouds that fill a beautiful blue sky…
That is what I ask for…
Climbing atop a mountainous terrain…
That is my greatest fear…
Wishing on a star …
That is what gives me hope …
Understanding humanity …
My greatest uncertainty …
Seeking You …
My only comfort …

Infinite

So I was thinking the other day ... I haven't written a blog in a REALLY long time. Almost a full month. That's not like me, but I'll tell you ... life has been a little crazy during the past few weeks. With work, relationships, and life ... sometimes, it gets a little hectic and you have to make the time to sit down ... take a breath, and make sure life isn't going in a whirlwind that you have no control over.

Anyway, I've also been thinking a LOT about blessings. I have so many of them and I can't even begin to express my gratitude for each of them in words. It's amazing how things come and go ... and it sure is amazing how God always provides ... even in the darkest of days ... even in the midst of uncertainty ... even when hope is only as small as a grain of sand ... it's rather remarkable knowing that even in those moments, He is carrying us ... carrying us to something greater ... carrying us through something monumental ... carrying us and making us stronger ... wiser ... and even more grateful.

While I wish sometimes I had all the answers ... there is a little comfort in knowing that I can look up into the sky, and see every star, exactly where it should be ... and ... see the universe and all it's infinity ... in those moments, I realize, everything is as it should be.

... "I Have Found My Strength In You" ...

How amazing it is that God knows us so well, He knows exactly what and who we need at exactly the right time. I’ve been recently amazed by some of the people that I’ve been fortunate enough to have encounters with. They make me realize the beauty of PEOPLE and the power of human contact.

With my job, I don’t have much of that. I miss that interaction with people, real people. It’s nice to actually have actual encounters with people and to learn more about their lives …

I’m so amazed at how strong people really are. To go through their struggles, hardships, pain … and in light of them, they find hope and comfort in knowing that it all happens for a reason. I’m astounded by their strength and perseverance.

To each of you … you know who you are … thank you for giving me a little part of yourself … and showing me what it truly means to be courageous. I am forever grateful and can only hope to be as strong some day.

Endless ...

I'm writing a little late tonight. As I can't sleep ... which, if I'm honest, is most nights in my existence. Although I wish I could sleep, I feel like I must be awake for some reason ... I'm wired in this way to think ... and think ... and think some more.

Nonetheless, is there ever a time that you're thinking and you really have no idea what it is you're thinking about? I mean, that probably sounds very strange, but I imagine, it's the endlessness of my thoughts themselves ...

Anyway, as we get further into this New Year, into 2009 ... I've made it a point to start 'living life more'. We live in such a beautiful place ... a place filled with freedom and hope ... a place where I truly believe, anything can happen. It's amazing what a little hard work and determination can do...

In this New Year, filled with endless possibilities, I'd like to think I'll try new things that I've never tried before ... visit places that I've never visited before ... but mostly, I want to do more for others ... give time and attention to those things that really matter ... because after all, we're not promised tomorrow ... so, this year, I want to live every minute, embrace every moment as if it were my last ... enjoy life and simply ... LOVE every second of it ...

So ... Why are You Here?

Have you ever thought about the reason why you’re here? I mean really, honestly, sat down and thought about what it is you were put on this earth for? And, with that … have you thought about why you’re still here? I know I talk about this a lot, but it’s something that I ALWAYS think about.

See, I’m a twin. When my sister Melissa and I were born, we were born two months premature. I was just under two pounds and my sister was 2.5 pounds when we were born. We were in an incubator for the first 6 months of our lives and I have to wonder what was so special about us that we made it? And then I realize … and remember … God knows so much more about why were here then we do. He knows what we are meant to do … He knows why He breathed life into us and He knows when we fail or succeed.

After overcoming that obstacle of existing, even after doctors saying we just might not make it, I realize that His plans are so much greater then my own. And why not use the time that He’s given me to make something and be something, even if failing first is the actual first step.

Granted … at times, I sit back and think about what could have been … but then I realize what already is … which I am certain … is exactly what should be.

Twilight

I always thought that passion was something innate in all of us. Perhaps it's something we learn? Not sure, but I've been thinking about it quite often these past few days.

I read this book ... now don't laugh, but it's about vampires and forbidden love. Yes, sounds corny and unbelievable, but really ... there was so much depth to it, so much heart and passion within it … I couldn’t put it down … It was the kind of book that after you finish reading, you say to yourself, ‘wow, does that kind of passion really exist’?

I’m not entirely sure if it’s the romance inside the pages, which makes me want to be inside the reality the characters live in, but there is something to the story. The human girl who finds love with someone who could take her life because of the ‘creature’ he is. Yet, because of the connection they share, the passion they hold for each other, they both choose life and choose forever, together. Their love is intense and real … their hearts are intertwined and connected … it’s a beautiful display of self-sacrifice …

Now, I don’t really know how this ties into anything spiritual, anything really meaningful at this juncture, but I do find it interesting and consuming the passion and love that these two characters possess for each other. The story is rather mesmerizing, compelling, while the images and detail of the characters are almost too perfect to keep reading. Yet again, the story of these two ‘star-crossed’ lovers, keeps you turning the pages, hoping and pleading with the author to make them timeless … together forever.

It begs the question, if you could live forever, what would you live for?

Justice and Love?

While I wish I could write more at the current moment, I can't seem to get my thought processes in order at the present moment ... however, in this moment, I'd just like to share a quote:

"... Justice is what love looks like in public ..."

The Power of Love ...

It’s amazing how love can change you …

When I was a kid, I remember moments when my parents were happy … truly happy …
And … I remember moments when happiness was far away … far, far away …

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized the ‘genetics’ or the ‘DNA’ that I’ve been given, and I’ve learned those good ‘genes’ and the not so good ‘genes’ …

I believe my parents did the best they could … they loved us and they tried to love each other …

I don’t blame ANY of my behaviors, choices, or actions on my youth, or my parents … however, I do recognize, from my youth, those things that I saw, those moments where life was all but a happy ‘American Dream’ … I saw in my parents relationship, what I didn’t want to become in those moments… I realized what I wanted to avoid when I met the person I would spend the rest of my life with …

When I met my husband … I thought the love he had for me and the love I had for him could help make me become the person that I always knew I could be … however, it wasn’t that easy when we said ‘I Do’ … I had to confront the very things I never wanted to admit were a part of me …

But … the amazing thing is … although life hasn’t been peaches and cream, and there have been many ups and downs, HIS love has changed me … it has made me a better person … it has helped me become that person that I wanted to be so long ago … sure, I’m still a work in progress, but aren’t we all?

Through the LOVE of my husband … I have learned and continue to learn how much God loves me … He gave me a man who not only loves me in the good times, but also in the not so good times …

So, in the midst of a world ‘falling out of love’ … realize that love … can forever change you, if you truly let it …

The Motions

Heard a song today ... was blown away by the lyrics ... thought I'd share them here, with you ...

It's a song called 'The Motions' by Matthew West ... listen to it here ...

This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

'Cause I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

take me all the way (take me all the way)
take me all the way ('cause I don't wanna go through the motions)
take me all the way (I know I'm finally feeling something real)
take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

take me all the way (take me all the way)
take me all the way (I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go)
take me all the way (through the motions)
take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions...

Instructions for Life

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.

FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.

*A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.*

Let Love In ...

If I may be so bold, I’d like to pose a couple of questions to you all, my ‘blog friends’ … they are questions, that perhaps might evoke some emotion, but they’re questions that I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts on … so, here goes:

Why do you think people judge others?
Do we have the right to judge another person?
What ever happened to LOVING someone first?

I must say … I’ve been pondering these questions the past few days … I’ve found that throughout my life, personally, I’ve been a ‘judger’ so to speak … perhaps not so much consciously, but more so because I thought something should be one way and not another … or I thought I was right, while the other person was wrong … when all along, I lacked the capacity to accept that someone else had an opinion! I think this was more in my youth … when I was in middle school, into my freshmen and sophomore year in high school …when I was naive and just ‘learning’ what it all meant to have a relationship with Christ …

However, as I’ve gotten older, my focus has become, not whether someone is right or wrong, but whether they are loved or not … perhaps that sounds a little strange, but, as I’ve learned more about the ‘heart of Christ’, I’ve learned that He just LOVES us, right where we’re at … He loves us even in our darkest days … He loves us when we’re sinning … He even loves us when we turn our backs on Him … and while that breaks my heart, I realize that I lack the way He loves others, many times … I wish I could love like Christ in moments where my anger gets the better of me … or I feel a ‘judgment’ coming into thought about someone … I wish that it was easy to LOVE at all times … but that’s where our human nature interrupts and invades … yet, I pose a challenge to those out there who call themselves ‘lovers of Christ’, including myself … instead of passing judgment on someone FIRST, why don’t you try LOVING them FIRST … Love them like Christ loves them … give them grace and show mercy, just as Christ has done so many times for you and I … it might be something as simple as a smile, or maybe it would require you to take a leap of faith, but do it! Do it today, and just let LOVE in ... when you can be overcome by the love that Christ has for you, you can then become 'in love' with those around you ... even when you don't agree with their lifestyle … even when their sin blinds them … practice LOVE first …

Sex in the City - The BOND of Friendship

I don’t know if any of you out there are Sex in the City fans. I never was a fan until I started watching the ‘edited’ versions of the show AFTER they went off the air. It’s not that I wasn’t a fan of the show when it was on air, but it was more that I didn’t have access to it! It was an HBO commodity, which I wasn’t privileged to have access to. Ah well …

Nevertheless, as I’m sure you already know, the ‘big screen’ version of the show came out this past weekend, and I was ecstatic to see it. Perhaps you’re frowning at the mention of the show, or, you’re an enthusiast like myself, but I was asked by a friend the other day, why I like the show so much.

There are many misconceptions about the show and while some just might be true, there are quite a few positive aspects to it as well.

Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte, are much more than fashionistas. Sure, they live lives that many of us could only dream of, but they also carry something much deeper than the materialism that surrounds them in the ‘Big City’: the bond of friendship. The show, and the film, showcases the friendship of women, and the struggles they share. They’re devoted to each other, through the ups and downs that life so many times, brings to each of us. They’ll fly across the country for a friend in need, and not only do they rejoice in one another’s victories, but they also share in the sorrow and disappointments of life.

They forgive and forget, love when it hurts, and encourage the beauty in each other, even in their most dire moments.

So, a fan or not, the bond of friendship these four women share, sure is something to hope for, if not fight for!

"No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you'll never get through it without your friends.”

“Maybe our girlfriends are our soul mates and guys are just people to have fun with.”

TRUE Friends...

Trustworthy, honest, and TRUE friends are hard to come by in this day and age. Most people either don't take the time to BE a friend, or don't wish to make friends because they are afraid of being hurt.

TRUE friends can be vulnerable with each other; they can be open and understanding...they can brighten your day, even when it's your worst. They care because they want to care, not because they have to. TRUE friends give, when the rest of the world takes.

One TRUE friend is better than having 50 acquaintances.

Hold onto your TRUE friends...respect, cherish, love them...

Love Someone to God...

I’ve often thought that to SHOW love, we first have to BE love. Let me explain…

You’ve probably heard the saying, ‘Actions speak louder than words’; but do people really ‘act’? Do people really understand what it truly means to LOVE people first?

My friend Dave has come up with this profound revelation: ‘LOVE SOMEONE TO GOD’; a magnificent thought; perhaps absurd, but isn’t that what Jesus did? When He came to this earth, His whole purpose was to show the love of God; show the love of his Father, who choose, to send His ONLY son to this earth to die for us. He knew that his son’s fate was inevitable; He knew His ONLY son would have a dire death, but He still sent Him anyway; and Jesus accepted this destiny because He loved us that much, without even knowing us. What love? What grace and forgiveness? I’m baffled by this over and over again…

I often think that the least we can do is LOVE people without any conditions…because again, isn’t that what Jesus did all along? He didn’t even know us, but He died for us anyway…he LOVED us first…

Sometimes, words spoken from our mouths are needed; however, what a thought to LOVE SOMEONE TO GOD without saying a word…think about it…

Pursuit of Happiness...

“Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it.”

The above statement comes from an excerpt inside the pages of, ‘Eat, Pray, Love’, by Elizabeth Gilbert. The book, along with its author, was recently featured on an Oprah Winfrey Show.

The book has reached far and wide…a phenomenon among women throughout the world.

I haven’t read the book just yet; however, in reading the first few pages, and delving into her interview she gave to Oprah, her personal agony is blatantly apparent.

Her personal, inner turmoil is revealed through her words, not only verbally, but within the pages of her book.

She begins with writing and speaking about a place of uncertainty in her life; what she really wanted, wasn’t what she really wanted at all.

I suppose in this country, there is a conditional element to ‘happiness’; we’re conditioned to think that when you grow up, you get married, by a home, have kids, and live happily ever after. However, as you probably already know, that doesn’t happen too often in the ‘real world’ where I live, where you live…I think ultimately, we have to fight for the things we want…and really, are the things we want, really the things we need?

As Elizabeth said, as noted above, ‘Happiness is the consequence of personal effort’; we strive SO HARD to attain what someone else thinks we need to be happy, when all along, we only desire to be ourselves; to be the beautiful creations that God already created us to be…

So…be happy…just being YOU!

In the Heart of the World

I’ve been thinking about Mother Theresa lately. I suppose I’ve always been fascinated with her life, her amazingly selfless life.

What a remarkable woman she was. She never wanted to be recognized, but her compassion couldn’t go unnoticed. What a TRUE woman of character and humility; what a TRUE woman of beauty and grace…

There is a book I’m reading called “In the Heart of the World”. It’s compiled with thoughts, stories, and prayers that Mother Theresa once wrote. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to read the words of such a TRUE servant of Christ; a TRUE depiction of what we ALL should strive to attain: TRUE Selflessness and Sacrifice.

The following are just a few excerpts that I can’t but help, share with you:

“We will never know how much just a simple smile will do.”

“…be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.”

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today, let us begin.”

“In the silence of the heart, God speaks. If you face God in prayer and silence, God will speak to you. Then you will know that you are nothing. It is only when you realize your nothingness, your emptiness, that God can fill you with Himself. Souls of prayer are souls of great silence.

“Like Jesus, we belong to the whole world, living not for ourselves, but for others. The joy of the Lord is our strength.”

“Seeking the face of God in everything, everyone, everywhere, all the time, and seeing His hand in every happening – that is contemplation in the heart of the world.”

“Every act of love is a work of peace, no matter how small.”

“There are many people who can do big things, but there are very few people who will do the small things.”

“Love, to be real, must cost – it must hurt – it must empty us of self.”

“I feel that we too often focus on the negative aspects of life, on what is bad. If we were more willing to see the good and the beautiful things that surround us, we would be able to transform our families. From there, we would change our next-door neighbors or city. We would be able to bring peace and love to our world, which hungers so much for these things.”

“There are thousands of people dying for a piece of bread. There are thousands upon thousands who die for a little bit of love. My thoughts often run to you who suffer, and I offer your sufferings, which are so great, while mine are so small. Those of you, who are sick, when things are hard, take refuge in Christ’s heart. There my own heart will find with you strength and love.”

I wonder what it would be like if we lived in a world, where ALL people saw others the way Mother Theresa did…

…the way Jesus continues to SEE each one of us? I’m amazed that He still loves us…that He still loves me…

You Don’t Have to be On Your Own…RIGHT?

You don’t have to be on your own, right? I think so…I guess some part of me has ALWAYS thought so…there is this vast world of beautiful people, yet there are so many of us that have been hurt by someone, so we then choose to hide, believing that we ARE on our own; that we have no where or no one to turn to…

Hmmm…

Sometimes walking through life…IT definitely can feel alone…SO alone…

I was listening to this song the other day, by a band called the Goo Goo Dolls…maybe you’ve heard of them, maybe not…nevertheless, it was a song called ‘Before It’s Too Late’. You can listen to it on their website, if you’d like. Just Click Here to visit their site…

Anyway, some of the lyrics to the song say, ‘Live like you mean it’…’Love until you feel it’…this might be far-fetched, but perhaps, if we DID live like we meant it, loved until we TRULY felt it…maybe this ‘ALONE’ feeling that so many of us feel, would subside…we walk aimlessly through life sometimes…NOT living…NOT loving…but what if we just stepped back, took a look at the mess we’ve created of ourselves, and despite all the hurt, all the pain, all the uncertainty, we took a leap of faith and TRULY embraced this thing called life?

I think when life was first breathed into each of us, a sense of yearning and longing was just an innate ‘thing’ that we felt…as babies, we LONG for our parents to love us and want us, yet nowadays, from an early age, parents lack that care, that love for their children; maybe it’s because their parents didn’t give it to them when they were children, or they just don’t care…I’m not quite sure…but I have to believe that if we simply tried to be someone’s somebody, than we wouldn’t have so many people ending their lives because they feel alone, so helpless and hopeless…

So perhaps, we can all GIVE a little bit more…LOVE a little bit more…especially the people we call our friends...and family...what do you think? My thoughts are aimless today...

Someone to Love...

Haven’t written much in a while…I guess time hasn’t permitted…although, sometimes, I think that’s my excuse…sometimes I’m filled with MANY excuses!

Nonetheless, I’m thinking about love, relationships, friendship, and time…seemingly different things, yet intertwined in a way that is so very beautiful…love is perhaps the most important; it ties the other three together…without love, what are relationships and friendships? Without time, how can you have relationships and friendships, which then spawn love to come from them?

I don’t know…I think we all need someone to love…we all want someone to love us, right? I think so…isn’t that what Jesus intended for us all along? To love one another and in turn, be loved? It doesn’t matter what color you are, it doesn’t matter what class you are, it doesn’t matter if how tall or short you are, we ALL simply, want to be loved…we all need to be loved! If we could only grasp onto what Jesus so meticulously embodied, perhaps the world could be a better place…PERHAPS, we could have better relationships and friendships, and bring love and valued time to those very people that are important to each of us…